How do these men do it? What do you have to do to get into that club?

The secret behind this phenomenon is that most women are not looking for arm candy. That may be something that ranks at the top of the list when a man is looking at a woman, but women have different criteria when selecting a mate. Men who are not drop-dead gorgeous often attract beautiful women because they have other things that the women find extremely attractive.

It’s a Personal Thing

Every woman has something special that finds wildly sexy in a man. For some young girls who haven’t matured or experienced life to the fullest yet, this may be sexy six pack abs or long shaggy hair, but for most women it is something that cannot be seen. What you need to understand is that it is different for every woman.

For instance, one woman may have a need to feel secure and protected so she will be subconsciously drawn to men who display attributes of strength. This could be a physical stature that is large and strong, but that has to be backed up with a strong personality that shows he is not afraid to defend himself and his woman. The ugliest man in the room could display this type of dominant, strong personality and attract beautiful women who want to feel protected.

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Take another woman who has a strong desire to connect with a man on an intellectual level. She wants to feel valued and have interesting conversations with a man who recognizes and validates her sharp mind. She will be drawn to men who are engaging and smart and who do not trivialize her or assume she can’t discuss big issues. Obviously, you don’t have to be a superstar with washboard abs to get her attention.

Women may be attracted in the conscious mind to beautiful men, but what really controls her choices in a mate are those deeper unconscious desires and needs which often have nothing to do with appearances.

Finding Your Influential Strengths

This is true of all women, even the most beautiful ones. Most men just don’t realize this and are too shy and awkward to show their true personalities when first meeting a woman. If you can’t show your true self you can’t attract those deep inner needs and she doesn’t go wild for you.

Most average or unattractive men who attract beautiful women are just confident enough to display their true personality when they interact with women. They don’t hide who they are and therefore women are drawn to those attributes that meet their deep-seated needs.

If you want to join those average men who attract beautiful women like it’s nothing, learn to free your personality and show women what you are really all about. Now that you know it’s not all about appearances you should have more confidence when approaching women, right?

Here are 3 quick tips to make it happen:

The Confidence

Without any sort of self-confidence to go on you will only crash and burn. Girls love a guy who isn’t afraid to take charge of a situation and make things happen. Just don’t confuse confidence with arrogance, because the latter turns a lot of girls away.

However, if you take the time to get in the right mind set and not worry about being rejected; you will easily discover how to chat up girls!

What to Say

Even if you have the self-confidence, a lot of guys just don’t know what to say. Don’t feel bad if this is your issue, because there is a simple solution. Are you ready?

Consider where you are at when you find the girl you want to chat up. Are you at a bar? Are you at the grocery store? How about the library? Wherever you are it will give you a glimpse of what you can talk about with her. Here are some examples below:

The Bar:

1. “Have you ever tried a _______?”

The Grocery Store:

2. “Do you know how to make _______?”

The Library:

3. “I heard the library will let you check out movies. Do you know where I can find them?”

These are basic examples of tying in where you are to an ice-breaker. Learning how to chat up girls isn’t about the girl in front of you, but it is about finding that first piece of information that will get her talking. If you can do this you will have no problem chatting up the ladies!

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Keeping the Conversation Going

Okay, so you have the confidence to walk up to her and you asked her a question revolving around the place you’re at right now; what next?

In order to keep the conversation going you have to learn more about her, or tell her more about you. There is a very fine line here because you don’t want to seem overzealous if you’re doing all the talking.

Keeping the convo on the up and up is all about learning to listen. For example; if you’re at the library and ask her where to find the movies…come back and ask her if she’s seen ______. Make sure it’s something funny and would be entertaining. It’s possible she has, which means you will get a laugh, a smile, and another thing to talk about with her.

If take the 3 tips we’ve given you and utilize them properly, you want have to wonder how to chat up girls. All you’ll have to do is keep from calling them the wrong name when you go out on your dates!

Here are a few things to do with your girlfriend depending on the time of year:

Thing To Do In The Winter

When the snow falls it’s time to break out the coats, hats, and gloves. Just because it’s cold outside doesn’t mean she wouldn’t love to do something outdoors. Ice skating is a great place to start, especially if neither one of you know how to do it. When you fall on your wazoo she will think it’s funny, but love the fact you are doing it to make her happy.

You could also go back to your younger days and take her sledding. It doesn’t sound like something you would do with your girlfriend, but we all want to stay young. Bringing back those memories can spark tons of conversation, and definitely put a smile on her face (unless she doesn’t like snow or you live in a warmer area).

Thing To Do In The Spring

Once spring hits, most of us want to be outdoors to feel the semi-warmth after being cooped up all winter. So do something that would involve both of you. If you both like to ride bikes then plan a trip to the local park. If she likes going to the bars then find one that has an outdoor patio.

Some other options might include; taking in a baseball game, entering both of you in a walk-a-thon for charity, going to the nearest outdoor shopping place in your area, or even renting a peddle-boat at your local lake (if available).

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Things To Do In The Summer

We probably don’t have to tell you all the things to do with your girlfriend during the summer. However, if you’re looking for something a little different (and you’re at least 21), take her to the closest vineyard. Even if she doesn’t like wine it’s possible she will after visiting one.

Another option might be checking your local listings for group bonfires. This is a great way to meet new people, have intimate conversations, and enjoy your time together doing something new.

Finding things to do with your girlfriend is the easy part. Unfortunately we don’t know your girlfriend or any of the things she enjoys. If you can figure this out you will have an easy time finding things she will love to do.

Standing Out

The problem most men have in groups is that they blend into the crowd. They don’t get noticed by girls because they are easily forgotten, if the girl even notices them to begin with. There are some simple things you can do while in the group to stand out from the others around you and get a girl to notice you:

1. Make eye contact with her and smile warmly as often as possible.
2. Put a hand on her shoulder or touch her in other subtle, harmless ways.
3. Actively engage in conversations or activities so you aren’t just sitting by as a spectator. Girls don’t notice spectators. They are after the conversation stars.

When making eye contact, it is important that you don’t drop your eyes to the ground, fold your arms across your body, or show other signs of anxiety or shyness. You are confident. You are the life of the party. You are just having a good time and relaxing. That’s the image you want to give, so look her right in the eye with a confident smile then move on to engaging the rest of the group again.

Engaging Her Through the Group

When you are interested in a girl who is in a group with you, the trick is to engage the entire group while subtly reaching out to her. Make those eye contacts and place a hand on her shoulder or grab her hand to create an example of the point you are making. You are talking to the entire group, but showering a bit of extra attention on her.

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Girls are naturally drawn to guys who are adored by others. If you have lots of friends and everyone in the group seems to really like you, then she has the social go-ahead and approval needed to go after you if she wants.

Moving the Conversation

Eventually, if you want to get a girl to notice you in a group you will have to remove her from the group. Once she is comfortable around you from group interactions ask if she wants to move to a side room and have a drink or perhaps dance. Your options here will be dictated by the social situation you are in.

Just don’t expect the girl to leave the location alone with you or go into a bedroom. You want to get her alone to talk to her but that won’t happen if you are creepy or inappropriate.

Playing the Social Card

Use the group environment to help you get a girl to notice you beyond the party. Make sure others with the girl have your phone number and know your name. If they bring you up at other times you will be thought of more by the girl as well and increase your chances of getting a date.

Now, if you have a hard time even walking up to a girl then that’s a whole other story. You basically just need a couple tips that will bring you plenty of confidence with girls. We’ve got a couple of them for you today that is going to turn everything around!

Understanding What Girls Like

While growing up we tend to believe the only thing that matters to girls is if the guy is hot. Well, when you’re in high school it might be the case, but we all get wiser as we get older. Women aren’t looking for the supermodel or sexy actor you see on television all the time. Sure they wouldn’t mind it, but it’s not the key factor.

Girls (or women) want someone they can talk to, enjoy their time with, and love them for who they are, not what you want them to be. Sounds familiar right? Well, it’s the truth, and you will find that looks aren’t nearly as important when we age.

Make sense? It should, and if you understand this in the beginning you won’t have any problems revolving around your confidence with girls.

Group Interaction

There are a lot of guys who lose their confidence with girls when it’s a one on one scenario. If this is the case then you just have to bring a wingman. Okay, not like the Situation and Pauly D from Jersey Shore.

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If you get her to go out on a date, tell her your buddy called up and wants to go out together. It should be somewhere where all of you can converse and it takes the load off your shoulders to keep her interested. This has helped thousands of guys build confidence with girls.

We understand there are several different scenarios where your confidence with girls is lacking. While this is true there are plenty of solutions. Come on over and take a look at all the tips we have to offer. You will not only learn how to build confidence with girls; you will also know how to talk with them, take them home, and a slew of other benefits.

What it comes down to is building confidence with girls is just a starting point. If you want to take them out on a date, get them to come back to your house, or even do intimate things in the bedroom, there are techniques you can use for each situation.

The only problem is; if you don’t have confidence with girls you will have a hard time accomplishing anything.

If you are completely honest with yourself and you have to say that you would be less than smooth and confident, you are not alone. Very few men know how to approach girls so that they feel comfortable and free to respond with a positive desire. Most men push girls away without even realizing what they are doing wrong.

If you approach a girl in a timid manner you might as well just keep staring from a distance because she will pick up on your shyness and mistake it for weakness. If you approach with frantic energy, talk too quickly, or seem to be overly anxious or excitable you might as well scream “jiggety jiggety BOO” in her face and watch her run in the opposite direction.

Girls will pick up on fear and reflect it back on you negatively. They will see you as weak and girls don’t like weak. Too much energy and you are a spaz they want nothing to do with. The key to learning how to approach girls is to strike the middle ground and be fearless, calm, and casual.

Approaching this girl is no big deal in your life. You’re not desperate for her to give you a phone number. You will easily move on to the next girl if she doesn’t want you, because you have plenty of options. This is the attitude you want to reflect when you approach a girl.

After having that initial conversation with you, a girl shouldn’t know for sure whether you are interested in her or not. She should have some hope that you are, but still in the back of her mind she’s not quite sure. This is what will make her think about you after that initial conversation is over.

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So, how do you give this laid back, calm illusion when you approach a beautiful girl? The following tips will help get you started:

1. Ditch the cheesy come-on lines and look for environmental cues to start conversations. You are standing there together so you are sharing a moment together. Take something happening around you and comment on it with a pleasant, warm smile.
2. Try to include her friends in the conversation if she is not alone. Make eye contact with her and give her some special attention, but make an impression on everyone near the girl as well. This will also take the pressure off you since it’s not a one-on-one conversation.
3. Pretend you are talking to a friend. If you can learn how to approach girls as if they are just another person in the world, you will learn how to approach girls fearlessly. There is no reason to be nervous…she’s just a friend!

You may have to practice this last tip before you really become good at it, but it will work in the long run. If you convince yourself she is just a friend you enjoy you will come off more relaxed.

This seems like common sense, but most guys don’t know how to flirt with a girl without giving off those desperation vibes. If you are struggling to get girls to respond when you flirt with them or they react negatively, chances are they are reading desperation rather than confidence from your approach.

Lack of Eye Contact

The biggest sign of a guy who lacks confidence or expects to be shot down is the lack of eye contact. You know not to let your eyes linger down at chest level, but do you have the confidence to look a girl directly in the eye and give her a direct smile? If you want to avoid looking desperate, you better get that confidence!

Eye contact is essential to learning how to flirt with a girl with confidence. If you can look her directly in the eye when speaking to her you can give some sense of confidence, even if you are quivering inside.

Imagine someone talking to you with their eyes pointed down at the ground or every which way but at you directly. What are you going to think of them? You may think they are nervous, scared, or perhaps a bit shady. When you avoid eye contact with a girl she will think you are scared of her, and that can be even worse then desperate.

Don’t Make It All about Her

The best way to show a girl that you aren’t desperate is to let her see you flirting with others as well. You may even go as far as to flirt lightly with another girl without ever flirting with her. Many guys are scared to do this because they think flirting with another girl is the kiss of death, but in many instances girls want what other girls have. They see other girls interested in you and find themselves interested as well.

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Just be careful with this approach because you don’t want to come off as completely disinterested. The best approach is to flirt with the girl and her friends as a collective group. Part of learning how to flirt with a girl successfully is learning how to put yourself in the most attractive light and getting her friends to think you’re cool is a great way to look more attractive in her eyes.

Eventually, you will want to make it clear that she is the object of your affection, but there is no harm in showing her that others find you charming as well.

Don’t Rush It

Finally, learning how to flirt with a girl with confidence requires learning how to slow down. Slow down your dialogue so you aren’t speaking too fast. Slow down the pace of your flirting so you don’t jump from hello to give me your number in five seconds. You want to come off confident and leisurely, not in a rush to get somewhere with her.

Well, we have some information for you today that will help you understand what you need to do in order to overcome this your nervousness:

#1 Create a Positive Mindset

This is the most important thing you can do if you’re nervous around girls. Creating the right mindset is all about believing in yourself and the fact she isn’t prejudging you. Just by taking the time to develop a positive mindset you will start to feel better around girls before you even talk to any of them.

#2 Overcome the THOUGHT of Rejection

This could almost be considered part of the mindset tip, but it’s important to single this one out. Rejection is hard for anyone, especially if you continue to hear it. If you think these girls are going to reject you before you even talk with them; you will most likely fail.

When you can figure out how to get this out of your head before you even see a girl you’re interested in; it will make the next step a lot easier.

#3 Consider the Numbers

If you or someone you know has ever been sales, most of them will tell you its a numbers game. Good salesmen understand they need to see X amount of people in order to make a sale (on average).

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When it comes to being nervous around girls you really have to take the same approach. So let’s say you go up to four girls and #1, #2, and #3 shoot you down hard. Are you going to give up even though there is still one out there? Hell no! You get up the courage to talk with her anyways and see what happens.

The point is; the more times you make an attempt to NOT be nervous around girls, it won’t feel so bad if you’re turned down. Pretty soon you will have no problems walking up to girls and asking them for their number, a date, or just being able to hold a conversation.

If you utilize these tips and consider them every time you approach a girl, we have know doubt in our mind you will build up your self-confidence and find the perfect girl for you. Pretty soon guys will be asking you how to overcome being nervous around girls.

So should you be discreet about it or let the world know how you feel about her? Well, it really depends on the person, so we’re going to cover both areas today.

The Discreet Method

Sometimes our personality just won’t work for a wide open acknowledgment of affection. When this happens you usually want to do things to show her you like her. If you go back to your younger days it was probably making fun of her in a playful manner, but today you might want to be discreet.

In the today’s world it’s all about talking to her more, and digging for a little information that can help. Learning how to tell a girl you like her can be easy if you have something unique to work with like; sending her a written letter in the mail. Thanks to the Internet, snail-mail has seemingly disappeared when it comes to writing a letter, so this option is definitely unique as well as discreet.

The best part about this option is it’s not something she would expect, which means she’s going to like it. Hopefully she feels the same way about you, and if she knows how to tell a guy she likes him as well, she’ll return the favor in the same manner. We recommend telling her to write you back if the feeling is mutual.

The Open Method

This method is more direct and to the point, if you have a lot of options with women this may be your best choice. When it comes to being open, the guys who can do this seem to have more self-confidence. They don’t really care what people think about them, so the options are endless. However, it’s important to do something out of the ordinary. Forget about sending flowers to her work, because that is just OLD SCHOOL (you can do it later on though).

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Learning how to tell a girl you like her in this way will also set you up for rejection. Probably the worst part is if its in front of a lot of people. A great way to be open about it is to tell her friends where you want to take her on a first date. You will probably here; “Aww, that’s so sweet.” Then they go back and tell her so it’s not a huge surprise when you tell her you like her.

Then again; if you have the marbles you can just walk up and say; “I LIKE YOU!” Unfortunately it’s not really the right approach, and she’ll probably think you’re weird.

In the end it’s all about being yourself. Think about whether or not you feel comfortable just walking up to her and letting her know how you feel. If you don’t then we highly recommend going the discreet route. It’s quiet, no one knows about it (at least they have seemingly forgotten about it), and if it doesn’t work out you won’t be all that embarrassed.